Journals27
Newest
.:Hospice:.
1 min read
Hello everyone.
Its been a long while and I need to get back in touch with my creativity and... myself. I just wanted to update this so that it doesnt look like the owner of this artspace has moved out and left it life-less. I exist <3
To those of you who have recently discovered and appreciated my work, thank you very much. I plan to have more just as soon as the machine is oiled.
Update:
+Married, Wonderfully
+Living in connecticut, Miserably
+Lonely and unhappy with life and surroundings, Desperately
Best of luck and love to you,
T
Its been a long while and I need to get back in touch with my creativity and... myself. I just wanted to update this so that it doesnt look like the owner of this artspace has moved out and left it life-less. I exist <3
To those of you who have recently discovered and appreciated my work, thank you very much. I plan to have more just as soon as the machine is oiled.
Update:
+Married, Wonderfully
+Living in connecticut, Miserably
+Lonely and unhappy with life and surroundings, Desperately
Best of luck and love to you,
T
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Shock!
1 min read
Im alive... Its been since May 19, 06. Thats nearly a full year without DA....
Inexcusable. I know. Most of you have given up on me by now, surely. Update:
+Engaged
+Starting medical school
+Fiance in Navy
+Unable to write
+Planning wedding
+New tattoos
+New friends
Any questions? Who remembers me!? Hahah!
Much love
Inexcusable. I know. Most of you have given up on me by now, surely. Update:
+Engaged
+Starting medical school
+Fiance in Navy
+Unable to write
+Planning wedding
+New tattoos
+New friends
Any questions? Who remembers me!? Hahah!
Much love
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.~+Ta Poupee+~.
4 min read
The comedy of the matter is that I am very much active. I just don't have the mental space to keep up with my creativity or self...
School has come to a halt. Life is very fast but nonetheless, satisfactory. I have been unable to write for months. It isnt because I am blocked, but more that I can feel the things I want to write about swelling within me and just cant bring myself to confront them. Soon I will have to spill though, I feel the seams ripping.
-He- is doing very well and is working. I am happy to announce we have found the best sex position for us. This is a minor victory for me, as I have a bad hip and cannot make love to him as I want to without extreme pain and discomfort. With a little maneuvering, I have found heaven.
I have come to learn that patience is absolutely something you must work hard for. I can positively declare that I will never leave him, but that I may one day kill him. He is beautiful to the touch and taste, amazing inside and out. He infuriates me regularly, but they say true love has endless passion.
Medication-free since October. I am doing very well aside from the occassional flakes of rage. But I have a theory that it has to do with the people in my environment. Sometimes, conversating and socializing can make you feel infected, cant it?
Someone I love is on a path of destruction of herself, and possibly others, and there isnt a way to make her see what she's doing and the consequences she has already faced have had no affect. I want to grab her and shake her and make her my dolly and help her see how wonderful life is and how much potential she has...... But alas..... It was not my crotch she was yanked out of and that is not my place. The fear I have that she will be dead before the realization hits is becoming more intense. My love is wasted?
I am still looking for a playmate for myself. I believe I have found a suitable participant, but her sketchy past makes my modest-self a little uneasy. Having met her only last night, time will tell. To fill you in, my boyfriend understands that I am bisexual. Not "I like girls cuz im a girl and guys think thats hot, omg" bisexual. But really, truly, I love thoughts of pleasing other women, bisexual. It is also understood that I am very old fashioned and monogamous and he is the only one for me. So, I am allowed a 'playmate', or a female that would like to be my friend and share sexual experiences with me as well. I am not 100% sold on the idea yet. I get straight up sick to my stomach when I think about being intimate with someone else.... But at the same time, I yearn to be with a woman again even if its just one last time. Try that for internal conflict....
I've finished my semester with success, am still looking to move the fuck out, am dying my hair platinum within the next 6 weeks, have a BURNING ACHE to buy fish and create them their own underwater paradise, and will be starting my new $13.50 an hour bank job on monday. *joy* I also wanted to notify everyone that I have taken an extreme interst in 1920-1950's style tattooing and if you have any information on where I can find galleries or artists, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
I want to know how you are. I want to know that you still smile. I want to know your life is pulsing. Give me that, wont you? I've missed you all. Much love, of course
x's and o's from your heads to your toes
School has come to a halt. Life is very fast but nonetheless, satisfactory. I have been unable to write for months. It isnt because I am blocked, but more that I can feel the things I want to write about swelling within me and just cant bring myself to confront them. Soon I will have to spill though, I feel the seams ripping.
-He- is doing very well and is working. I am happy to announce we have found the best sex position for us. This is a minor victory for me, as I have a bad hip and cannot make love to him as I want to without extreme pain and discomfort. With a little maneuvering, I have found heaven.
I have come to learn that patience is absolutely something you must work hard for. I can positively declare that I will never leave him, but that I may one day kill him. He is beautiful to the touch and taste, amazing inside and out. He infuriates me regularly, but they say true love has endless passion.
Medication-free since October. I am doing very well aside from the occassional flakes of rage. But I have a theory that it has to do with the people in my environment. Sometimes, conversating and socializing can make you feel infected, cant it?
Someone I love is on a path of destruction of herself, and possibly others, and there isnt a way to make her see what she's doing and the consequences she has already faced have had no affect. I want to grab her and shake her and make her my dolly and help her see how wonderful life is and how much potential she has...... But alas..... It was not my crotch she was yanked out of and that is not my place. The fear I have that she will be dead before the realization hits is becoming more intense. My love is wasted?
I am still looking for a playmate for myself. I believe I have found a suitable participant, but her sketchy past makes my modest-self a little uneasy. Having met her only last night, time will tell. To fill you in, my boyfriend understands that I am bisexual. Not "I like girls cuz im a girl and guys think thats hot, omg" bisexual. But really, truly, I love thoughts of pleasing other women, bisexual. It is also understood that I am very old fashioned and monogamous and he is the only one for me. So, I am allowed a 'playmate', or a female that would like to be my friend and share sexual experiences with me as well. I am not 100% sold on the idea yet. I get straight up sick to my stomach when I think about being intimate with someone else.... But at the same time, I yearn to be with a woman again even if its just one last time. Try that for internal conflict....
I've finished my semester with success, am still looking to move the fuck out, am dying my hair platinum within the next 6 weeks, have a BURNING ACHE to buy fish and create them their own underwater paradise, and will be starting my new $13.50 an hour bank job on monday. *joy* I also wanted to notify everyone that I have taken an extreme interst in 1920-1950's style tattooing and if you have any information on where I can find galleries or artists, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
I want to know how you are. I want to know that you still smile. I want to know your life is pulsing. Give me that, wont you? I've missed you all. Much love, of course
x's and o's from your heads to your toes
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~)Silent Night(~
1 min read
Finals: Done.
Work: No more overtime.
Brain: Missing.
Relaxation: Boring.
Friendship: Vacant.
Respect: Invisible.
Joy: On vacation.
--
Hands: Warm.
Heart: Open.
Arms: Wide.
Mouth: Curled at corners.
Eyes: Spilling.
Work: No more overtime.
Brain: Missing.
Relaxation: Boring.
Friendship: Vacant.
Respect: Invisible.
Joy: On vacation.
--
Hands: Warm.
Heart: Open.
Arms: Wide.
Mouth: Curled at corners.
Eyes: Spilling.
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*!Heat Seeking Mistletoes!*
5 min read
Book of the month: I would like for you to understand that A) I love reading and that B) I have a short attention span and that C) I HAVE NO TIME TO READ but that if I did have time to read, I would have most likely finished "Sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs" By Closterman MONTHS ago. I believe I've been trying to finish that book for about a year now but have managed to re-read Les Miserables three times in between. What?
Music of the month: Uh. A song that talks about Purple haze, and may in fact be entitled "Purple Haze" but I've been too busy {lazy} to check it out, by a new chick from Sri Lanka. Anyhoo, I am hooked on this song. Otherwise, I was overdosing on avenged sevenfold and shinedown, but am sort of tummysick of those bands right now.
Boyfriend turned 21 on friday the 18th.
<---- for those that dont know about the one and only man of my dreams. His mother and I collaberated; and by that I mean lied, tricked, bullshitted and snuck around my boyfriend for two months; and planned his surprise party. There were supposed to be like 20 some people there and about half that number of people attended. But my boyfriend has a wonderful heart and had an amazing time with the people that DID show up. Mind you, the others didnt even bother to call and say they couldnt come so I was FURIOUS. And 2 friends we love dearly showed up perfectly on time, looking neat and well dressed, presents in hand and smiling ear to ear. WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH! WE WERE SO THANKFUL!!! But it went off nearly without a hitch and he managed to drink something like 23 shots ON HIS OWN and woke up, miraculously, saturday morning with no sort of hangover what-so-ever. I was slightly disappointed at that seeing as how he tends to be a hyperactive 5 year old in need of ritalin when he's shit faced and I was so looking forward to banging things by his ears and shining a flash light into his face that day in effort to make drinking seem like something he never wanted to do again, but I suppose NOT having a hangover makes your 21st birthday all that much more special no?
I was exhausted by the time the party happened. I hadnt been sleeping well, my head teeming with what I needed to do yet each night as I layed staring a hole in my ceiling at 3 am the 4 nights prior to the event. So on friday night, I had an after party special treat 'outfit' planned and barely made proper use of it. But I must say, even though my behavior was similar to a sack of potatoes' at first, the sex was fantastic. I had the most beautiful sleep that night and had awesome morning sex all before checkout at noon. I did however manage to leave my shampoo, tooth brush, soap, chapstick and body spray at the hotel. Go fig.
But enough about sex and booze. School is nearly over. I put my tail between my legs and went back to my old job where I am queen bullshit seller (literally top salesperson because I have the gift of evil apparently) of cosmetics and safes. So I now am making money. Im not so worried about christmas. My theory is everyone is suffering a bit with this lovely world of war and shitty economy so I believe the "One nice gift $20-$40 for everyone" rule applies generously. I need to make new year's plans badly, and plan to spend new years with Tony alone somewhere nice and quiet where we can pop the cork and walk around in the buff. Not necessarily in that order
I've grown much closer with his family which is something I've been worried about for a bit now. But it seems they embrace and accept me with open arms from his mom all the way down to her boyfriend's father. Its an awesome feeling to be comfortable with the people your future husband calls his own and know they feel you are more than just a nice thing to have around.
In march I turn 21. Am I excited? Partially. Am I insane for not being excited? That's your call. But I do know that legally being able to drink does not mark you as an upstanding citizen or official adult. I dont think slamming shots and becoming a slurry frumpled mess with eyeliner running down my face and some sort of alcohol mixed-bar nut fragment concotion sprinkled on my top constitutes womanhood nor does it mean that Im a functional member of society. Because if I had my way and choice, this would not be a society I called mine.
Nonetheless, I will be drinking and acting like a wild monkey because if my loved and trusted family and friends will be there giving me money and support, why the fuck shouldnt I? It's supposed to go down in Vegas, but Im not sure that I want it there. So if anyone has a suggestion for a neato place where a hip chick like myself can party like its '99 for my 21st and not feel like Im at chuck e. cheese's, lemme know.
Otherwise, Christmas is a'comin so love thy neighbor and hate thy government. Peace, love and lube to all Wurd.
Music of the month: Uh. A song that talks about Purple haze, and may in fact be entitled "Purple Haze" but I've been too busy {lazy} to check it out, by a new chick from Sri Lanka. Anyhoo, I am hooked on this song. Otherwise, I was overdosing on avenged sevenfold and shinedown, but am sort of tummysick of those bands right now.
Boyfriend turned 21 on friday the 18th.
<---- for those that dont know about the one and only man of my dreams. His mother and I collaberated; and by that I mean lied, tricked, bullshitted and snuck around my boyfriend for two months; and planned his surprise party. There were supposed to be like 20 some people there and about half that number of people attended. But my boyfriend has a wonderful heart and had an amazing time with the people that DID show up. Mind you, the others didnt even bother to call and say they couldnt come so I was FURIOUS. And 2 friends we love dearly showed up perfectly on time, looking neat and well dressed, presents in hand and smiling ear to ear. WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH! WE WERE SO THANKFUL!!! But it went off nearly without a hitch and he managed to drink something like 23 shots ON HIS OWN and woke up, miraculously, saturday morning with no sort of hangover what-so-ever. I was slightly disappointed at that seeing as how he tends to be a hyperactive 5 year old in need of ritalin when he's shit faced and I was so looking forward to banging things by his ears and shining a flash light into his face that day in effort to make drinking seem like something he never wanted to do again, but I suppose NOT having a hangover makes your 21st birthday all that much more special no?I was exhausted by the time the party happened. I hadnt been sleeping well, my head teeming with what I needed to do yet each night as I layed staring a hole in my ceiling at 3 am the 4 nights prior to the event. So on friday night, I had an after party special treat 'outfit' planned and barely made proper use of it. But I must say, even though my behavior was similar to a sack of potatoes' at first, the sex was fantastic. I had the most beautiful sleep that night and had awesome morning sex all before checkout at noon. I did however manage to leave my shampoo, tooth brush, soap, chapstick and body spray at the hotel. Go fig.
But enough about sex and booze. School is nearly over. I put my tail between my legs and went back to my old job where I am queen bullshit seller (literally top salesperson because I have the gift of evil apparently) of cosmetics and safes. So I now am making money. Im not so worried about christmas. My theory is everyone is suffering a bit with this lovely world of war and shitty economy so I believe the "One nice gift $20-$40 for everyone" rule applies generously. I need to make new year's plans badly, and plan to spend new years with Tony alone somewhere nice and quiet where we can pop the cork and walk around in the buff. Not necessarily in that order
I've grown much closer with his family which is something I've been worried about for a bit now. But it seems they embrace and accept me with open arms from his mom all the way down to her boyfriend's father. Its an awesome feeling to be comfortable with the people your future husband calls his own and know they feel you are more than just a nice thing to have around.
In march I turn 21. Am I excited? Partially. Am I insane for not being excited? That's your call. But I do know that legally being able to drink does not mark you as an upstanding citizen or official adult. I dont think slamming shots and becoming a slurry frumpled mess with eyeliner running down my face and some sort of alcohol mixed-bar nut fragment concotion sprinkled on my top constitutes womanhood nor does it mean that Im a functional member of society. Because if I had my way and choice, this would not be a society I called mine.
Nonetheless, I will be drinking and acting like a wild monkey because if my loved and trusted family and friends will be there giving me money and support, why the fuck shouldnt I? It's supposed to go down in Vegas, but Im not sure that I want it there. So if anyone has a suggestion for a neato place where a hip chick like myself can party like its '99 for my 21st and not feel like Im at chuck e. cheese's, lemme know.
Otherwise, Christmas is a'comin so love thy neighbor and hate thy government. Peace, love and lube to all
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